Lazy and Stubborn

I was thinking today that 2 of my dominant traits are lazy and stubborn. And I'm thinking that they kinda benefitted me in being able to take this thing on. Ok here's why: I just simply don't like to do what I don't like to do. Well that's stating the obvious for anyone. But this is the thing that gnawed on me for years. I knew when something felt right and I would have all the energy in the world to tackle it. But the laziness came in when I just wasn't passionate about something. And the stubbornness came in when I would resist. I just have to do only the thing that I'm passionate about. And doing this and writing about it fits the bill to a tee.

Ok so let's go over my notes from today:
Mission San Jose...this was a beautiful little area. The perfect suburb. Beautiful foothill setting. Gorgeous homes, just perfectly appointed. I was like, "who wouldn't love to live here"
But the thought came in about the cost of this lifestyle. What do this people have to contend with to keep it up? It's nice to think that they all have their ideal job, ideal family, ideal life. But I don't think so. It comes with struggling and creating an ideal that society has established and families promote. Go to school, get good grades, find a good job. I mean who really loves their job? I've honestly never met anybody that I can say this truly about. Nobody! Well, you say, they do it for their family. That sounds all cute and sweet but please tell me where to find this ideal. I want to interview them. I've lived and looked around for 34 years and am yet to find this. But maybe thats what life isn't about you say. We are supposed to struggle and fit in to society and look good for the camera, etc. But that is what I am digging beneath. Is there something else? Well I'll find out and let you know!

Beautiful day, empty park...I found this beautiful park in Los Gatos. Completely empty! I mean there were a few walkers, stroller pushers etc. but no cars in the huge lots! Where were these people? At work and school of course. A gorgeous day and an empty park left unused. I thought, what exactly are we doing? I would like to ask President Obama exactly what in the world is the whole purpose of life in America? What are people doing with their lives? And what for? Working for a better future, working for a family, living the dream...spare me! A dream run by money and looking good in the eyes of other people. That's what we are all doing- working to get money and to have people like and respect us.

Ok I'm long winded..let's get to the good stuff! I came across three different roads named mission today. 3! In fact I am at the Starbucks on Mission St. right now! I guess I'm on a mission.

Imaginary world and death...I came upon a pickup truck with not one but 2 memorial bumper stickers today. One was a 14 year old boy and the other a 6 month old girl. Kinda morbid to mention this, I realize. But it is at the heart of my journey. I realized that a lot of us, including me are playing pretend with death. The fact is that I have absolutely no clue when death will come-a-callin. That's why I had to make fast friends with death and say, ok I know the clock is ticking and I don't want to miss out on something great. And death, my new friend said, "GO."