Fixing a Hole

"I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go"
-The Beatles

For the majority of my life I lived with an emotional sieve. Events and people could bleed my emotional energy straight through and it was if I had no say in the matter.

As a society, it seems we have simply gone along with the idea that there are emotions over which we have no control. Many feelings are a "natural" human response to life's ups and downs. Well who are we? Three year-old toddlers living in adult bodies??

A prime advantage of being human beings is that we can wake up to our situations and think about how we spend our emotional energy. It takes thought and focus to grow up emotionally and we can actually decide how and when we want to experience our emotions.

Contrary to popular belief, worry, anger, jealousy, guilt, frustration, anxiety, and any other unpleasant feelings can be placed under our control. This is not through the act of emotional suppression. Believe me, I've tried it and it doesn't work. Our emotions need to be spent when they arise, but the focus should be channeled more effectively. You must make the decision that you are not interested and no longer will put up with the feelings that make you feel bad. Direct your anger and frustration towards the feeling itself rather than what you perceive as the external cause of the feelings. The external event is completely irrelevant, unless perhaps you enjoy having your energy sucked out or get a kick out of handing your power over to other people and situations.

This takes practice and determination to plug up the emotional energy holes. For me it is still a work in progress, but I see the results clearly. Situations that used to make me angry or jealous wash over me and sometimes cause me to laugh instead. Get angry at your anger. Get frustrated at the frustration. This emotional energy gets channeled towards the feelings that you don't want and sooner than later you will see how ridiculous and childish you have been. You can't force people to act like you want them to or get yourself worked up enough to make people become better drivers or have better manners. You CAN decide how you respond to these situations and stop the perpetual motion machine of madness.

"Life is very short, and there is no time for fussing and fighting my friend" - The Beatles