Our One True Talent

I have been going on a bit about how I am discovering more and more how unintelligent I truly am and how little to no talent exists within me. And when I say "me" I mean as this illusory separate being of myself, distinct from the world. How is distinction even possible?? How is separation possible?

And here is where our true talent lies as individuals. This all-encompassing power to completely and utterly confound and confuse ourselves with the sole, and ridiculous goal of pretending that we are all separate entities. How is that even possible? How have I fooled myself for all these years!!??!  That is true talent. How in the world does anyone think that he or she exists?

I realize now that this is something that has been bubbling within me for many years and I have just been continually calling on this masterwork of deceit to fool me. What used to bubble up inside me was this idea that life was barely worth living. Like there was just a barren wasteland of existence and somehow I was just barely treading water. Living one-inch ahead of myself. That one inch was the only thing that kept me going, that living life was just barely a better choice than not living. And I would have moments of rage saying WTF am I doing? WTF am I living for???  And perhaps at the height of this grating against meaninglessness and purpose, I took a sleeping pill and charmed myself back into ignorance. And this, my friends, was my only talent.

The way I did this was through a hodge-podge spirituality. All peace and love and everything is beautiful. This talent is like going to the most putrid of all garbage dumps and arranging the toxic waste in a particular way and then convincing myself this is all lovely and treasured. What a bunch of shit! Some talent!  A talent that turns shit into pretty-shit. One big fucking oxy-moron.

The fact is that I never got real. Never woke up and took a look around and realized that what I was pretending was good and beautiful was dull, monotonous, petty, superficial, and nonsensical garbage. And those adjectives are a fitting description of modern day human society. Modern human society is a piece of fucking shit and we all stand around and hold hands and pretend that this heap of trash somehow, in the right lighting and appropriate sanitizing spray actually is tolerable.

Are you KIDDING ME!!  Our life here in the USA revolves around these holy things: eating, fucking, being mindlessly entertained, quarreling, and for many a variety of substances we can breath, snort, inject, or snort. And THIS ladies and gentlemen is what we call life. Yeah, a beautiful trash-heap of bullshit. And THAT is our talent. Making all of this tolerable, livable, and for some, "worth living"