I've talked about free will and desires, but what is the link here? Where did your desires come from? Is there some you inside that directs and comes up with those things that you desire? Or is desire inherently mysterious coming from seemingly nowhere and showing up on your doorstep? I think about the things that I like or desire and I have to admit I have no idea where they have come from and no idea how to make them happen. Well, yeah, maybe I think I know how to make them happen, but I also see what makes them not. Micro-managing, impatience, frustration, constant checking, blah blah blah etc. are ways that we are held apart from our desires. Trusting, accepting, appreciation, patience, breathing...this is what ushers in those desires that come from nowhere.
Is there a pattern here? I think so. The idea of free will is kind of a blinder and a binder. Because we think we created our desires we think we know how to make them happen rather than relaxing, witnessing, and flowing. But there is no separation so this ego isn't separate from the process either, just the way we pretend to have free will and keep separate and keep desiring. Ego is us, we are ego, we are everything, nothing is separate. Does this make sense? It is hard to write about because it takes a sense of it for it to click. Just ask yourself, "who is desiring?" "who makes it happen?" then perhaps you will come to realize there is no you...there is only desire and there is only the happening.
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