Just Be

March 8th has come and gone and I have to say that I was probably a bit too ambitious in the idea that I would be more clear on what I am going to do with myself.

Let me try to explain what has been happening. I made the conscious effort to stop feeding my brain more and more information about making the progress that I am seeking. I realized that I was addicted to stuffing my brain full of info and then thinking and thinking. I am so happy to have seen a reduction in this distraction and it has made me understand that I kind of never needed all of the information in the first place. I mean, I am glad to have had it because it cut through some of the walls that fear erected and allowed me to see what I wasn't seeing. But, the fact is, nobody needs any additional information. In fact, you don't even need any of the information that I am writing about on this blog. What is most important is to allow yourself to just be.

But what does that even mean, "just be?" It is hard to explain because it is without explanation. You just simply allow yourself to have the feelings that come through, do the things that feel right, and don't block your flow. I spent my whole life behind a wall that was erected by fear and this made me think that I should adhere to a particular way of being. A certain moral code. A particular persona to uphold. A way that would make other people more attracted to me. But now that I have cleared much of that mental garbage, I feel freer to just be. This isn't a process of becoming anything. It is a stripping away at the layers of what you thought was your "self." Rather than beating myself into submission to follow the very strict rules of fear, I am loosening up and recognizing more easily how things flow and more importantly where they don't.

In the past, I didn't really recognize where things weren't flowing because I just accepted the fact that I must do things that were uncomfortable for me. So the lack of flow was happening so often that I just accepted it as a normal way of life. But now that I have taken so much garbage to the curb, I see more easily where the flow is getting stuck. And I see that that is the area which deserves my attention. Figure out why it isn't flowing and fix it. And guess what is the cause of that small area of being stuck? You guessed it! Fear. It hides in places and it is our job to root it out. Certain things that have felt stuck are seen as pockets of fear that I am resisting. And that is all that mental and emotional suffering is: places where we are resisting because we are afraid. But that is what this game is all about and that is what I am still in the process of doing. Once I clear more debris, I think I will start to realize what will come next. But, even that is something that I have to let be. It will come when it will and in the meantime I will keep slaying the dragons that pop up and continue to enjoy the wonderful blessings that I have.

There is a life beyond thinking. Life lives through you. You do not live your life. Thinking becomes an addiction because we think we have to be and do certain things. However, once that silliness is seen for the waste of time that it is, thinking is no longer required. Thinking is a prison. Of course it comes in handy sometimes, but how do we shut our brains off when we are stuck in a loop? It starts with the process of becoming honest about fear. Once the fear begins to lift we see that there is little that needs to be thought about and this Hafiz quote makes complete sense: "I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through; listen to this music."