Beliefs

My grandmother has stressed the concept to me about loving and caring and being around others. Perhaps she is afraid that I am feeling lonely or that I would be better off spending time by being in close proximity to family and friends. Let me just say to her or anyone else that may be concerned about that: I am totally fine. There is a certain comfortableness to being alone for me. When I first started out, loneliness definitely creeped in. I had some scary moments down in Big Sur, but somehow, my desire to continue on pushed me beyond my ideas of what being alone meant and let me continue in a less fearful and more joyful way.

This brings up the opportunity to address the concept of beliefs. Beliefs are like air bubbles that we float around in. We get our beliefs from society and from our own experiences. The thing about beliefs is that they often go unexamined. Sometimes we are pushed into a new paradigm of beliefs based on an unusual or traumatic experiences. Sometimes, like in my case, we push ourselves beyond the barriers that beliefs create around us. If you say something that you think is true, make sure that you have hard evidence. Evidence can usually only be found by actually trying something out for yourself.

For example, A short time ago I never would have believed that I would have been able to embark on this journey. Giving up my job and leaving behind the life I knew is something that I think many people consider, but seems crazy scary too. In my case, I went through the process of challenging many of my fears. I simply examined and wrote out the things that scared me or the things that I didn't desire in my life. I looked hard at beliefs that I held and decided whether or not they were helping or hindering me. Once I got through some really scary stuff, all of the sudden the ideas that once seemed impossible seemed possible. Now, keep in mind, there wasn't an absence of fear when I began this whole thing. What is more accurate is that the fear became more manageable.

So, when my grandmother talks about the idea of needing to be around friends and family in order to have a fulfilling life, I would say that she is expressing a belief. Perhaps a very good belief that works for her. Now, I am not saying that I completely dismiss this belief, but I do think it can be challenged if one wishes it to be. I had to challenge it in order to do this. I had to get comfortable with the idea of being alone. I am not promoting this idea of being alone. But I do promote the idea that strongly held beliefs that limit you can be challenged. Sometimes it takes confronting that specific belief head-on or sometimes a belief is weakened by challenging other fears that plague us. At least this is true in my experience.

My grandmother also has mentioned that she doesn't understand what I am looking for. Let me help clear the matter up. I am not traveling around looking for anything. If I need to find something, I have faith that it will find me. It is more easy to address this matter by explaining what I am NOT looking for in my life. I am NOT willing to work at a job that is unsatisfying. I am NOT willing to live my life waiting around to travel and see the things I want to see as if I had all the time in the world. I am NOT willing to do things that I don't want to do. I am NOT willing to let fear dictate the life that I am living.

Six months ago, those demands that I am making would probably have seemed absurd to me. Of course you have to do things that you don't want to do. Of course you have to stick it out in a job that is unsatisfying. Of course you may have to be patient to see the places you have dreamed about. Well guess what? These are all the beliefs that were boxing my life in. If I am crazy, so be it. At least I am having a good time being crazy. I am determined to keep pushing the boundaries of what is possible in this life. Because life is unbelievably precious and beautiful and amazing. Who knows how much longer we have to enjoy it?

Yes, I still care for and love my friends and family. Yes, I still want what is best for them. But I also have this crazy idea that they would truly accept what it is that makes me happy and support me in that. I can go on without it, but it does make a huge difference.